What is Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse is a pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, it is the misuse of power and control by one person over another. It is never acceptable and we are here to help. 

 

Abuse can take many forms but often includes 

 

  • controlling behaviour 

  • coercive behaviour 

  • psychological

  • physical 

  • sexual

  • financial

  • emotional

 

Controlling and Coercive Behaviour 

 

Controlling behaviour is at the centre of all domestic abuse whether it is physical or emotional. Controlling behaviour is where a current or ex-partner or family member controls your life to make you dependant, or subordinate to them. They do this by isolating you from your support network including your family, friends, money and work. This prevents you from having what you need to be resist and escape. 

 

Coercive behaviour is where violence, intimidation, threats and humiliation is used to harm, punish and frighten. This includes so called ‘honour’ based abuse such as forced marriage and female genital mutation and is not limited to one gender or ethnic group. 

 

Physical abuse can include:

  • Slapping

  • Punching

  • Pinching

  • Beating

  • Kicking

  • Assault with a weapon

  • Strangulation

  • Suffocation

  • Destroying your possessions

 

Emotional Abuse can include such things as:

  • Pressure tactics to get what they want

  • Sulking

  • Constant criticism such as being told that you are useless, ugly or worthless

  • Threats to kill or harm you, your children or your pets

  • Threats to commit suicide

  • Threats to take the children away or report you to Children’s Services

  • Embarrassing you in public

  • Intimidation and bullying

  • Being locked in or kept in isolation away from family and friends

  • Not being allowed money, food, sleep or freedom

  • Stalking and harassing you especially after separation

 

Asset: Video – can we add the 16 days final video here?

 

Financial Abuse can include:

  • Forcing you into debt such as credit cards  

  • Withholding or forcing you to beg for money

  • Not allowing you to earn your own money or have access to joint accounts

  • Making you account for any money spent 

  • Constant monitoring or questioning of your finance

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How can we help?

 

We are here to listen and support you. We are a safe place to talk through your experiences, your needs and your options. We know that no situation is the same and everyone is at different stage in their journey, so where ever you are, we can provide emotional support and 

  • if you are not ready to leave we can give practical advice around safety at home.

  • If you are starting to think about how you can leave we are here to help you plan leaving safely. 

  • If you have left we can support your recovery. 

 

 

We offer a large range of services, if there is something specific that may help you please ask but here are some of the services we offer:  

  • Advice and support by phone or email 

  • Fortnightly drop-in group

  • Accompanying you to appointments such as court proceedings

  • A property security assessment and locks changed

  • Finding refuge spaces, for you and your children

  • Counselling

  • Befriending 

  • Mother and Child Groups 

  • 1-2-1 support for children 

  • Recovery Support Groups such as Freedom Programme and Recovery Toolkit 

  • Awareness raising and Training within business, education and the community 

 

​If we can’t help with something we will be able to put you in touch with a caring agency or organisation that will be able to help. 

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ESDAS means to me 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The calm in a storm,

Give you hope when you feel hopeless.

Give you strength when you feel weak.

Listen to you, believe you and save you.

A Survivor