Help for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community
Some people think that domestic abuse is a heterosexual issue. However, the Sigma survey carried out in 2003 found that one in four individuals in male and female same sex relationships experience domestic abuse at some time (Henderson, 2003) – the same ratio of women in heterosexual relationships that experience domestic abuse.
Whilst there are similar barriers for heterosexual and same sex domestic abuse survivors to seek help, there are also some additional factors:
The fear of having to ‘out’ themselves.
This may be to various agencies or friends and families or the threat that their partner will ‘out’ them if they tell anyone.
The belief that this is what a LGBT relationship is like.
This may be particularly true for someone for whom this is their first LGBT relationship. Unfortunately a lack of positive images of LGBT relationships means abuse can be portrayed as the norm within the relationship. Furthermore, as is similar in heterosexual relationships, domestic abuse is often only considered to be physical abuse when in actual fact it can be emotional, sexual, financial and psychological as well. (Please see ‘what is domestic abuse’ section for further info)
Fears around homophobia.
This may include fears about homophobic reactions or a lack of understanding from the police, alienation from their family or friends, fears that nobody will help them due to their sexuality or homophobic reactions should they seek refuge.
Dependency on partner to remain part of the ‘scene’
If they disclose they may feel they can no longer remain part of the gay scene which has offered them so much support in terms of their sexuality.
If you think that you are experiencing domestic abuse then support services can help. Support services can help you to find out your rights and provide practical as well as emotional support. Information is kept in the strictest confidence – you don’t even need to give your name. Knowing that you have support can help you feel less isolated and more able to look objectively at what is happening. You can also discuss safety planning which will help to keep you safer in this relationship. If you felt that you would prefer support from a domestic abuse service that specialise in working with the LGBT community then the Broken Rainbow offers such a help line service (details below). If you feel comfortable talking to a general domestic abuse outreach service then please call ESDAS or local equivalent (details of all outreach services in Surrey under ‘useful links’)
LGB and T Services in Surrey:
Outline Surrey – advice line: 01483 727667
Tuesday/Sunday 7.30pm- 10.00pm
Email: info@outlinesurrey.org
Website: www.outline.org
Outcrowd- meeting once a month in central Woking for people to meet others from LGB and T community.
Website: www.outcrowd.org.uk
Gay Surrey – website with information for the LGB and T community in Surrey.
Website: www.gaysurrey.org
Broken Rainbow – support for LGB and T community experiencing domestic abuse - 0300 9995428 (LGBT)
Monday 2pm – 8pm, Wednesday 10am – 5 pm, Thursday 2pm – 8pm.
Website: www.broken-rainbow.org.uk
Henderson, L. (2003) Prevalence of Domestic Violence among Lesbians and Gay Men: Data report to Flame TV. London: Sigma Research.
